- Books
- Holistic healing
- Asking for help
- Small things that make a difference
- Talking with survivors
- Helping a friend
1. Books:
Surviving cancer and chemotherapy was my only priority while I was undergoing treatment. I wanted to do everything I could in addition to chemotherapy to ensure my success, so I read a number of cancer related books for guidance. The books gave context to what I was thinking and feeling, and they gave me ideas for how to play an active role in my survival.
There are many great cancer books available. The three that I found most useful are:
Live Longer, Live Larger by Drs. Bill and Susie Buchholz - www.buchholzmedicalgroup.com
Cancer as a Turning Point by Lawrence LeShan
Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn
What struck me about the fist two is that they talk about "holistic" or multifaceted approaches to surviving cancer, which is how I approach everything in my life.
I've also heard wonderful things about:
Kitchen Table Wisdom by Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D.
Peace, Love & Healing by Bernie S. Siegel, M.D.
2. Holistic healing
In addition to having surgery and chemotherapy I pursued a number of additional methods of treating my whole body and whole person. I saw two psychotherapists to keep my mind at ease (if one is good, two are better, right?). The therapists served as coaches and cheerleaders for me. They would tell me how great of a job I was doing mentally and emotionally, and they would give me things to work on, like keeping a journal, as well as ideas to think about. The therapists also helped put my feelings into context. I did yoga to keep my body limber, I exercised to stay fit and feel energized and normal, I received massages because I love them and to flush the toxins from my body, I ate as much as possible to put on weight, I saw a Chinese herbalist to help mitigate the side effects of the chemo, and I surrounded myself with friends. I also went easy on myself and spoiled myself whenever possible, including going on several vacations. I did not want to just do chemotherapy when I could also treat all other aspects of my mind and body.
3. Asking for help
One of the most important lessons I learned was that when you are sick you have an unlimited number of favors that you can ask of your friends. They don't keep score, they don't expect you to repay them, and you can keep on asking for more. I mention this because early on when I was talking with my therapist, Susie Buchholz, she noticed that I was wary of "over-staying my welcome" when it came to calling on friends. When she told me that I could ask for as much help as I needed from my friends, it lifted a huge weight off of my shoulders.
4. Small things that make a difference
Having my favorite flowers in my room and always having friends to hang out with made a big difference in helping me keep my spirits up. I love Star-Gazer Lillis because they are extremely fragrant, so I always had my mom or friends get them for me. I also had a number of friends who would drop anything to come hang out for fifteen minutes or three hours. At first I was hesitant to call on my friends, but then I realized that it made them feel good when I called on them or took them up on their offers. They felt special, wanted, and knew they were helping.
5. Talking with survivors
I found it comforting and helpful to talk with recent cancer survivors when I was in chemotherapy since they understood what I was going through and dealing with and I didn't have to explain as much. One survivor in particular, Rick Hyman, helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel. He had survived testicular cancer and was now back on his bike racing again. Having Rick check in every few weeks was great, but even more importantly I had a mentor for how to survive. Now that I am a survivor I would love to be able to do the same for someone else and I am happy to talk with anyone fighting cancer if I can help.
6. Helping a friend
It can be tough to watch someone else fight cancer since we like to help, but don't know how. One of the best things to do is to ask how to help. I wanted different types of support from different friends, so it was great when they would ask how they could help. Even just going to visit someone in the hospital makes a big difference. Maybe go to chemo with them or hang out with them after treatment if they want company. I also had friends bring me food. When you can barely move due to the pain, cooking is 100% out of the question. Having friends deliver banana bread and rice crispy treats was heaven. It was also great to have friends ask how I felt, what I was going through, what chemo was like, etc. Anyone going through cancer and chemotherapy is going to have a heck of an experience, and may want to share with a close friend.
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